Oohlala - A Vibe Contest!

I can't remember when was the last time my husband and I had made love out of a whim. "Gettin' sumthin' sumthin' " needs scheduling nowadays because of the kids and work...etc...etc... This used to bother to me so much at first, but the more I talk to other parents, we always end up laughing about how, when, and where are some of these 15 minute rendezvous (no longer called quickies) are done.

A couple of years ago, a girlfriend was telling me about her 4 year old playing in their bedroom and them wanting play some coochie-coochie at that moment. Her hubby started telling the little boy that it has gotten late, and he needs to stop banging the wall with his toys and go to his room and sleep. The little boy flatly refused and said "no". They both tried to coax the little boy to go back to his room but he still won't budge. Then her husband finally lost it and shouted at his son. The little boy started crying and said that it was unfair that whenever he get sent to his room at night, all he hear are wall banging noises because Daddy and Mommy gets to play at night and he can't sleep! Apparently, the headboard needed to be moved away from the wall. haha

I love hearing funny stories like this, so I thought I'd do a contest about it. --- Post a comment here about your funniest struggle in trying to get your kiddies out of the way for some little afternoon delights or midnight snacks (whichever the case may be). *The prize is a Gyrator - Waterproof Vibe or an O'Gee - Gspot Vibe courtesy of IntimatePursuits.com and must comply to some **simple rules. And yes, they are both pretty quiet...but you may need to get the headboard away from the wall. The winner will be announced by Tuesday April 4th in the afternoon. I of course will be the sole judge to this contest. Good Luck!
* Sorry, but I will only send to Continental US for this contest.
** You must be 18 years old or older and familiar with the standards iny your community regarding the acceptance of such sexually explicit material.

--- Also check out my 1st blog tenant BlogginBizatch! As a good landlady would do - I'm doing my part in telling all of you to go and check her out.


boodafli said…
i have the unique situation, of living with my baby, my babydaddy, and my mom right now. and for a while after peanut was born, it was looking like she'd be an only child, because obviously, i was never going to have time for sex again. fast forward 5 months, when she magically started sleeping through the night. now, let it be known that we cosleep. and up to this point, me and the babydaddy had only been snuggling. no hankypanky. but 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep, 3 nights in a row, well, that does things to a girl, y'know? so come bedtime, we settle the peanut, and start trying to start a lil sumthing. so we're kissing, and so forth, and it occurs to me, that i'm just not okay with doing it in the bed, so i pull him rather ungracefully to the floor. this of course, is a noisy prospect, and so we freeze, like high school kids about to get caught by daddy, to see if we've awakened the peanut. a minute passes, and nothing. whew! so we get back to business. at this point, i should mention that i'm breastfeeding. but i'm no longer leaking, right? so it never occurs to me to even worry about being shirtless. they don't tell you, in any of the breastfeeding books, that squirting your unsuspecting lover in the face is a possibility during the big O. but nevertheless, that is indeed what happened. bless his heart, he kept right on, and didn't miss a beat, as he wiped his brow, but pretty much, that was the most peculiar booty moment ever. and it's all due to the peanut. who, is still and only child.
MrsFortune said…
Haha ... funny contest, unfortunately I don't have an entry, because my son is still in utero and he doesn't care what we do. :-) But maybe in about a year I'll have some dish for ya!
utenzi said…
No funny stories here, Sugar. I don't have kids. However my girlfriend's adult son just moved back in with her and that has caused a few adjustments with the sumthin sumthin subject.
Erica Hanks said…
Thanks for the comment on my blog. I just don't have any good stories, but if I did, I would be happy to share them. I'm going through a "don't touch me" phase. My poor husband!
MJ Tam said…
Mrs. Fortune -- You'll be having some to share anytime soon. hehe! Congrats on the lil one inside.
MJ Tam said…
boodafli - haha! Squirtin' is not the word...more like spray! That's hilarious!
MJ Tam said…
utenzi - good luck on gettin' sumthin-sumthin hehe
MJ Tam said…
drama mama - That "dont touch me" phase happens a lot to me as well. That's when I just want go on a vacation by myself to unwind (yeah - like that will ever happen).
Anonymous said…
Hrmm.. k... my humourous story:
When the little guy (who is now a strapping 16-yr-old who towers over me) was about 2 or 3, he wandered into the bedroom one night - all bleary-eyed and tousled hair.
"Whatcha doin', Mommy?"
"Erm.. We're wrestling."
"Why aren't you wearing clothes?"
"We got hot."
"Why are you on top, Mommy?"
"I'm winning!"
He left the room...his father and I giggled a bit.. until he came back a few minutes later... wide-eyed.. and said, "I know what you're doin' Mommy! You're SEXING!"
Laughing that hard not only kinda spoils the mood - but it makes things pop out rather suddenly. :D
MJ Tam said…
Nertnie! Welcome to my blog! You always manage to crack me up in LM and now here. Naked wrestling sounds like a good story to use on the little ones, I hope to keep that in mind when it ever happens to me. Thanks for your entry!

Also----u should really start blogging (if u haven't already) because you have a way with storytelling!
Anonymous said…
No stories, funny or otherwise from my end, The Boy is a good sleeper so no worries there.

I think this is a great idea for a contest. I'll be checking back!
Anonymous said…
Awww man! Unfortunately I don't have a story either....I'm kidless. Too bad because the O'Gee-Gspot vibe looks like tons-o-fun!

This is a good idea though! I'll keep checking back to the other stories!
MJ Tam said…
reluctant wife and sassy -- glad you guys stopped by anyway, maybe you guys can help me vote :-)
Debbie Cakes said…
Yowza, SugarMama! Had no idea it was that kind of blog!

Well, hate to be the wet blanket, but we've been lucky enough to avoid those walk-in moments with a lock on the door. (Boo! Hisssss! overheard from the audience)

Anyhoo, thanks for stopping my blog, I love to see new "faces" or little pictures next to our names as out identity!

Last words:

"If the van is a rockin', don't come a knockin'!"

Mom on the Run said…
Now, if I could MAKE-UP a story, it would be so much better, but this isn't my creative writing class, so here is my okay 'don't wake up the baby story'
After putting our baby down (way back when) I didn't want us to wake her, because she was one of those very difficult babies to put to sleep. So, we um...started to do...*things* and things started to get loud, so I kept stopping. Husband was not happy about this, so rather than giving up I said, okay, let's go to the living room. Now, we lived in a very small condo at the time, so our dog's kennel was in our tiny living room as well as where I cats slept. So, I laid a big blanket down on the carpet and I said 'okay, let's start up again.'
Husband says 'I can't do it with the dog staring at us.' 'Well, I said, 'if we put her in our room and shut the door, she will start whining.'
Husband did not want to go without at this point, so he looked at me, he looked at our dog who was now wagging her tail thinking we were here to play, and then he took the tablecloth off the table and put it over her kennel and locked her in.
So, we 'hurried' and did the *eh hem, nasty* and when we were done and laying there, we felt we were being stared at...yes, our Siamese Himalayan cats had woken up from the couch and were now perched near the blanket, blinking at us with their huge blue eyes, thinking with their cat attitudes probably thinking 'YOU WOKE US UP FOR THAT?
Okay, that's my story! Great idea for a contest!
I haven't had sex in so long that I don't think I can even remember...sometimes being a single mom sucks. :)

PLUS I don't even have any fun stories~~my ex-boyfriend and I used to take a shower together whenever we needed some lovin'...because the bathroom door was the only one with the lock. :)
MJ Tam said…
debbiecakes - Did I shock yah? hehe...your last words on seinfeld should be made into a car sticker or Do not disturb knob hangers...hehe
MJ Tam said…
Mommy on the verge - that is so close to our many lil rendezvous (or quickies)so I had to read it to my husband...he was crackin' up so much!
LZ Blogger said…
I would love to come up with a great story here but alas... the memory it not what it once was! What was the question again? Te he! ~ jb///
Stacy said…
Oooh, the contest sounds like fun. Unfortunately, my hubby and I only 'do it' while J is napping. I might have some stories though when she stops napping in the afternoon. Although it's more likely we just won't do it in the afternoon anymore! ;)
BlondeBlogger said…
Oh, this sounds like fun! And boy do I have some stories to share! Will be away tomorrow but will try to get it in asap.
CJ said…
You know what's funny?? I was here earlier checking out your contest becuase you left a comment on my blog. Then I go to BE to place a bid for my space and you put a bid in. I accept it because I almost always accept the first bid I get. Then I come here and realize it's YOU!

Small blogosphere, huh? Do you serve drinks in this joint?!?!
Valerie said…
Terrell is only 3 but we have put him in the living room with a elmo video on and the baby gate locked and snuck into his room. He had a futon in his room at the time, it sucked though because he stood at the gate calling to daddy and crying. Now we wait until he is asleep or we let him play on the computer for a quickie.
Mama Grouch said…
Sex? Sex? We don't do no stinkin' sex around here...
MJ Tam said…
LZBlogger -lol!

J's Mommy - No afternoon delights for you? hehe

WriteWingNut - Looking forward to your entry.

Pajama Mama - LOL...Once I placed a bid on your blog because I loved it so much, so after bidding, I made myself comfy and read thru your blog and posted a comment. Glad to have found you!

Valerie - That was a mood killer I'm sure...hehe... more like birth control! hehe

Mama Grouch - Is that why you are so grouchy? hehe kidding

Thanks for the comments guys!
Mama Kelly said…
actually my best story related to interrupted sex is not related to my having children ....

however, the following exchange, or similar, has occured more than once

We settle the girls in front of a movie and say that we need to go talk about something and we'll be back in a few minutes

things start to get moving and

KNOCK KNOCK mom dad what are you doing in there?

nothing ... umm ... we're just talking .... we'll be out in a minute

(get back to business for about 30 seconds)

mom dad are you done yet?

ummm honey ... were ummmm talking about something, we'll finish faster if you don't interrupt

but why is the door locked?

because we're talking about ummm grownup things and we need privacy

oh okay

(resume for 30 seconds)

mom dad


can we have a snack

yes sure have whatever you want just stop knocking on the door
BlondeBlogger said…
Okay, here's my story:

My husband and I went out to celebrate our anniversary. We never have any privacy at home, especially since our son at that time always wanted to sleep in our room.

We went out to dinner and then miniature golf and by the end of the night, we were both thinking that it sucked we would go home and most likely be interrupted when the "real" celebration took place.

Sooo...we get the idea of getting a hotel room.

We go to the hotel, check in, go up to the room, do the deal, and come down about an hour later to check out.

I was so nervous, because it was the same lady at the desk as when we checked in.

I stood off to the side, looking at brochures and stuff as my husband boldly went up to pay.

"Um..was there anything wrong with the room?" the lady asked.

"No," my husband said calmly, no other explanation given.

She looks over at me, looks at him, turns red, and says, "Oh." Then procedes to check us out.

I swear she thought I was a hoooker or something!! But it was well-worth it, lol!
MJ Tam said…
mama kelly - write wing nut -- these are great stories...I will be announcing the winner tomorrow- so please check back by tomorrow. Good Luck!