Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Dreading "the talk"


I was once a sex toy company owner and so you would think that talking about sex to my child should come liberating and easy. I want to be able to talk to my child openly about sex and sexual health, but honestly - I can't make myself do it. According to some articles in the Internet, these talks should happen between parents and kids around 6-8 years old. So when my son turned 6 last year I decided to finally do the deed that needs to get done. But before charging on I needed some guidance. So I got gung-ho and enthusiastically researched on materials I can use to read or view with him that can hopefully help get my points across.

I decided to finally purchase this book called "Where Did I Come From?” online.
It had some great reviews everywhere, so it must be really good. As soon as I received it in the mail, I excitedly browsed and read through it quickly. I was shocked and now unsure if this is the right time to be talking to my child about sex just yet. I hid the book in home office book shelf and it has been sitting there for a year now. How can I possibly read that book to my child without getting embarrassed? Here are some excerpts from the book.


"The beginning of baby
....and they hug each other very tight. And after a while, the man's penis becomes stiff and hard, much bigger than it usually is. It gets bigger because it has a lot of work to do..............And to get really close the best thing to do is lie on top of her and put his penis inside her, into her vagina.

Making Love
...The man pushes his penis up and down and inside the woman's vagina, so that both the tickly parts are being rubbed against each other . It's like scratching an itch, but a lot nicer."
Now tell me - am I the only one that thinks this is way too much information for children? And for those that have had the chance to do this with your children, how did you exactly approach this topic? And how old were your children then, and how did they respond to it? Eventually I will have to do this so I hope that some of you can enlighten me of a better or gentler way of talking about sex to your children for the first time.

Also, here is a very entertaining German version of their own Where babies come from.

---------------------------------------------------

Cross-posted @ ChicagoMomsBlog.com

10 comments:

maria said...

It is really hard to talk about sex and sexuality to your own kids. Sometimes I wish that kids would come equiped with the knowledge so we don't have to talk to them about it. The manner and the depth of how we should discuss it would depend of the child's maturity and openness to the topic. More importantly, when they get to the age of "experimentation", we should be able to caution them about the risks associated with having sex

chelle said...

I am so glad I am not there yet. That does seem a little above where I would want to go, but I want my kids to understand it from me rather than their peers.

Anonymous said...

My kids are 3, 2, and 1 mo, so I haven't had the sex talk, per se. My eldest knows Daddy puts babies inside Mommy, and knows where they come out, and by being frank at this age, there's no awkwardness - yet.

I am a librarian and often dealt with parents who wanted to broach this. Go to your local library and talk to the children's librarian. He/She should have some good suggestions for more age-appropriate books and several options for you to look at. Frankly, I think the book you have will lead to more questions and confusion than a 6-8 yr-old is ready to handle.

Jane of All Trades said...

I read this book when I was 13 and when I had my first period. Its a very cute book with good illustrations. Will get it for my kids too next time.. or I'll just borrow from "Nina"!!!

MyStarbucks said...

I totally think this is way too much for a 6 year old. I remember when my oldest (he's now 14) was in the last quarter of 4th grade and we had to sign a paper agreeing to let them watch a "health" video in school. They separated the boys from the girls and basically explained to these 9 year olds what a wet dream was. I don't even know if they were ready for that but my husband assures me that it can happen for a kid who's nine so I guess they need to know. But the whole sex talk is best saved until, I think, 5th grade. But it really depends on the kid too.

BOSSY said...

Bossy is telling you right now: she never would have had sex if she thought *that* is what it was about...

Lois Lane said...

whoa... WAY too much information. by the way, happy early anniverary! 13? wow!

fidget said...

My mom left this book on my bed when I was 8. I went through the shock and embarrassment on my own. I wish she had spoke with me about it afterwards.. I was left to middle through on my own., i remember avoiding eye contact with her and my dad for several months after that.

monkeyporkbun said...

I'm so glad I haven't been asked that yet. In Waldorf education, a baby being born is simply described as "coming down the rainbow," as if from heaven. Thank goodness there is a name for it - I'm sure it saved me a few times. I hope this will keep working until I am "ready," when-never that will be.

VickyandJen.com said...

Mine are still little, 3 and 5, and I am not looking forward to the talk - at all!
Check out the new release "Third Base Ain't What It Used To Be" by Logan Levkoff. I saw her on TV and she has great ideas and suggestions. I thought she was so great, we invited her on our podcast show "What Really Matters".
Good Luck!
Jen